I’ve had a litany of health issues in my lifetime. My body has skipped some grades and sped up aging in some areas. I am proud to say it got one thing right: Black still don’t crack.

While I’m so, SO ready for the day I will never need another pad or tampon again, I’m nervous about some things, I’m annoyed by others, and more confident than EVER that men will NEVER understand what we endure as women. (If you’re a man reading this, please ask so you can support us.)

My thermostat is set to HELL

I’m not in menopause yet. I’m in the prologue, perimenopause. (More on that in another section.) Even still, physical and emotional changes are evident. For the most part, I’m always cold. I wear a sweater when it’s 72 degrees and “chilly.” My husband says I like the thermostat set to Hell. Slowly, our evening couch routine watching cult shows and seemingly endless available episodes of House Hunters has included a sequence of the following:

This sounds comical (it is), but gradually this has become my new normal. It wasn’t a crash landing. It just kind of snuck up on me as my students and mentees’ birthdates creeped from the decade of TLC’s disdain for scrubs (late 90s) to Nelly’s heat intolerance (the aughts) and on to Drake before he dissed Kendrick (the 2010s). 

I know there’s more to come…for better or worse. And there isn’t a handbook passed down by Black women to understand menopause (and soooo many other things, I’m finding out). Our mothers, aunties, grandmas all endured its challenges, but more often than not, suffered in silence. It wasn’t like the recipe cards we may have inherited to teach us step by step. It was the “change” we would face eventually, but it wasn’t talked about (and definitely not written down). 

One of the biggest gripes I have with menopause, though, has nothing to do with managing symptoms. It’s about how society has found one more way to pigeonhole women, especially Black women, into a stereotype. Calling a woman “hysterical” or “emotional” or “moody” as she deals with some of the most significant physical and emotional changes of her life is a dogwhistle. It’s akin to being reduced to the convenient catchall “Angry Black Woman.”

Menopause is a disruption. Yes, your period stops. But your body and life are upended. You’re scared, your body is doing strange things and you may have no one to confide in about any of it. You know what that makes you? Not hysterical. Not moody. Not angry. A survivor. When I reach the other side of menopause, I want a merit badge and nothing less than a sinfully decadent dessert. (No Costco cakes will be accepted.) Why? Because I made it. Every woman who makes it to the other side deserves her flowers. Why? Because she has earned it, and deserves nothing less.

She’s a doctor. Menopause still scared her.

Menopause is scary, and clinicians aren’t immune to the same fears and feelings of those of us without MD after our names. Dr. Yolandra Hancock, affectionately known as Dr. Yola (more from her below), is a much sought-after pediatrician. She is also the medical director of CRC Health & Wellness Group., a specialized medical consulting practice focused on preventative health, public health advocacy, and addressing childhood obesity and health disparities.

Meet Dr. Yola, MD, MPH, FAAP. (WHOA!)

BONA FIDES: Medical degrees from UCLA and Johns Hopkins, Bloomberg School of Public Health. Residency at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. “I’m so tickled to participate, especially given that Los Angeles was home to me for nearly 15 years!” she said.

PAST: Associate director of the Center’s Obesity Institute, Children's National Medical Center in Washington, D.C.

PRESENT: Answering her call to provide care and guidance to youth and families residing in often under-served urban communities as medical director of CRC Health & Wellness Group.

I asked Dr. Yola to weigh in on support and taboos around menopause.* (Her responses are integrated with research below, edited for brevity and clarity.)

What may I experience as my body physically and emotionally changes?

Perimenopause: 

Menopause: 

Menopause isn’t colorblind. Black women start menopause earlier and experience more severe symptoms.

For Black women, perimenopause begins in the late 30s or early 40s whereas it starts in the late 40s for white women. One or two years earlier makes a difference: “This leads to more severe symptoms that last significantly longer. It also increases risk for long-term health complications like cardiovascular disease and bone density loss.”

“One of the biggest misconceptions about menopause is that there isn’t anything to do but suffer through the symptoms. We have options.” Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) is an option for women experiencing significant symptoms. As your body transitions to menopause, your ovaries stop making high levels of estrogen. HRT replaces hormones like these that your body isn’t making enough of. Most people find relief from symptoms as their hormone levels rise. According to the Cleveland Clinic, symptoms may include:

In both your personal and medical opinions, why do you think there is so much stigma around menopause, from society as a whole and from other women?

“As menopause indicates the end of a woman’s reproductive age, it is perceived as us growing older with societal implications that we are less vital, less attractive and even perhaps less of a woman. We struggle to even admit that we are going through menopause when it starts—rationalizing that several missed periods or a hot flash must be due to something else.”

*The fine print: This isn’t medical advice; it’s medical expertise shared from a professional. Everybody’s body is different. You should consult with your own healthcare provider to discuss what’s right for you.

There is a lot of information—and confusion—around when women start menopause, but it’s actually very simple, according to Stephanie Capps, a registered nurse and health specialist I interviewed about Black women’s health issues. 

Menopause begins once you have not had a period for one entire year. Day 365 is your Menopause Birthday! 

There are a lot of books and resources and guides about menopause. There are numerous memoirs and personal accounts from women who detail their experiences, too. But at this stage in my life, I’m not really interested in the how-tos or the how-it-wents. 

What I do want is actionable information about my health. Your Body, Your Numbers is a FREE 99 guide to Black women’s health by the numbers. The goal is to understand the causes—and solutions—behind your medical tests and measures, to break down what you should ask your doctor about and why, and when you should advocate for yourself. 

The info is sourced from well-recognized and vetted health organizations as well as clinicians’ expertise, but is written in accessible language that’s as easy to understand as talking to a (very) knowledgeable friend who cites and attributes their work. 😉

The Get Free Guide and AfroLA produced Your Body, Your Numbers as a companion guide to the Weight Ain't Nothing But A Number in-person event in December 2025.

Read this guide front to back, or skip around. Bookmark it or download it to reference later. The sections inform each other, so find what matters to you most.